Burnout: which of your leaders is next?
On October 20th, I will be attending the Women in IT Canada Summit as an expert on their panel discussion on burnout. In the run up to the Summit, various eye-opening reports have been released on the state of employee wellness after almost two years of pandemic life. Our focus on building flexiblity into the workday has created an “always on” culture which in turn, has accelerated overwhelm & burnout in our leaders — mostly our female leaders. Women leaders are shouldering the responsbility of caring for the wellbeing of employees with little to no recognition or reward. And it is no surprise that more are thinking about leaving their role and joining the droves of women who have already bowed out for fear of burning out.
So, at this year’s Women in IT Canada Summit, I will once again, be making the case for “Ox-style leadership” because if this pandemic has proven anything is that we urgently need a human-centric approach to leadership that prioritises wellness.
What is Ox-style leadership?
As it turns out, rather interestingly, we are celebrating the Women in IT Summit in the Year of Ox. In the Chinese zodiac, the Ox is the second in the sequence of all the animals. According to legend, the Jade Emperor proclaimed the order in the zodiac would be decided by the order in which the animals arrived to his party. The Ox was about to be the first to arrive, but the Rat tricked the Ox into giving him a ride. Then, just as they arrived, the sneaky Rat jumped down and landed ahead of the Ox. Thus, the Ox became the second animal.
Poor, reliable, hardworking Ox - toiling from dawn till dusk, never asking for anything in return. Selfless, kind Ox, tricked by the wiley Rat into losing that top spot in the Zodiac. This story echoes the ethos ingrained in us from a very young age: in life - leading with a desire to serve & tend to the wellbeing of others never gets us ahead. It's all about looking out for number one.
This egocentric “survival of the fittest” value-set (which the Rat represents) has defined the corporate leadership model to date. We have applied it time and time again in society, in particular when we try "to fix" women and mothers. When women & mothers are overworked & exhausted, what do they get as a solution:
Why don't you take some "me-time"?
Really? Me-time? What - so I can recharge & get fit enough to go and do the same old crap, over and over again?
As we grapple with how to elevate women into corporate leadership roles, it’s time to accept that the existing Rat-dominant corporate culture is broken. That it forces an unsustainable & utterly depletive mental and physical load on mothers that no massage, no weekend retreat, no candlelit bath or one hour walk in the woods can fix.
That it is uninspiring, undesirable, and untenable for women to form part of a leadership construct where success, humanity and resiliency cannot co-exist.
The answer to getting more women in leadership roles - especially post-pandemic - is to change the corporate leadership model from “survival of the fittest” to “no one gets left behind”.
As the pandemic continues to threaten female employment and the great advancements we have made in diversity and inclusion, we are seeing women who have lost their jobs taking longer to begin their job hunt. We are also seeing women accept institutionalised me-time options and reduce their corporate working hours so that they can cope with their increased caregiving responsibilities. These me-time disruptions in their career are not breaks at all.
Women leaders often bow out so that they can care for others without burning out.
They continue their gruelling work in service to their family & community without asking for anything in return and accepting the consequent reduction in pay, perceived professional value, benefits, pension contributions & future financial security. Just like the Ox.
Sounds unfair?
Maybe a day at the spa will help?
Or maybe leadership teams can start codifying policies that allow for performance and resilience. Here are some examples:
CODIFY RULES TO MITIGATE BURNOUT:
Company wide policy for no scheduled meetings or conference calls on Friday afternoon. Or even better, no metings between 5-8pm so women AND men can engage in family care. As a nutritionist, I can tell you that these hours are hell for families - especially during COVID. The majority of mothers are left to organise everything from meals to bedtime on their own and the mental load of having to be the only one to shoulder the planning and execution of family care is isolating, depressing and exhausting.
No business emails or travel on the weekends. Solo parenting on the weekends is depleting to the core; it accelerates burnout for both parents and takes a massive toll on weekday productivity.
Regular company wide shut downs, where the whole company shuts down for a period of time so that everyone can exhale and switch off without guilt or fear.
Invest in wellness programs for leaders to support stress resilience. Never before has the ROI on wellness been so direct. Today’s leaders are struggling to perform because they are physically and mentally burned out; and this state of depletion is putting employee retention and corporate growth at risk. Leadership is an embodied practice. It’s hard to take risks, drive change & growth, inspire dedication & retention when the leader of the team has no energy, is run down & is constantly trying to manage physical & mental symptoms of overwhelm. 63% of leaders don’t make time for their physical wellbeing. Leaders need a core set of self-care skills that they can easily integrate into their day & that have a direct positive impact on their performance. In having these, they can become role models for others and foster a culture that prioritizes wellness.
CODIFY EMPATHY: The report findings are creating momentum for normalising empathy and compassion in the workplace. But to be honest, it is one thing to SAY that we have to be more empathetic. It is quite another to know how to actually PRACTICE empathy. One way to start is to codify some empathy best-practices:
Create peer-to-peer support groups so that leaders can share best-practices for how to foster wellness in their teams & learn how to role model kindness & compassion from each other. We know from a recent study by Deloitte and Lifeworks that leaders need more support than ever but that their peer relationships have actually worsened during the pandemic. What better way to foster closer relationships that drive performance by getting leaders together to workshop ideaas on how to be stronger together? Leaders want to be kind. They want to be empathetic. But 58% of CEOs say they struggle with consistently demonstrating empathy in the workplace. Not their fault! They’ve been trained in the “survival of the fittest” leadership model to not show weakness. We have to create & hold space for them to learn from each other and forge a new path where no one gets left behind.
Take part in regular “Love & Kindness Guided Meditations”. Sound lala? Think again. To practice empathy, leaders need to tap into feelings like kindness, compassion, vulnerability, curiosity - and yes, even love. In the same way as you’d practice Amy Cuddy’s superwoman pose before a big sales pitch, why not prep the heart to listen and care for others with a “Love & Kindness Guided Meditation”. It’s a type of mindfulness practice whereby you use and repeat phrases that foster feelings of safety, peace, connection & joy. In repeating the phrases, you direct the loving energy behind them to yourself and others. It’s easy, doesn’t take a lot of time and is very effective at taking your nervous system out of “do” mode and into “be” mode so that it is primed to practice empathy.
As you look to support your team out of this burnout crisis we are in, perhaps it’s worth asking yourself:
Am I a Rat or am I an Ox?
Do I perpetuate by inaction the corporate value set of “survival of the fittest” or am I working to ensure that “no one gets left behind”?
Do I pursue profit at the expense of resilience? Or am I codifying policies in my workplace to ensure that no has to bow out for fear of burnout?
I have a front line seat to the toll that the current corporate leadership culture is taking on the mental and physical health of both men and women. Choose to codify policies that allow for performance and resilience. You’ll solve the burnout & the female leadership crisis in one fell swoop.
Cristina Tahoces is a holistic nutritionist, TEDx speaker and owner of Thrive Nutrition Practice. She helps clients with high stress profiles use food as therapy to support resilience to stress & improve peformance. You can find more information on her Wellness Coaching for Resilient Leaders. Join her newsletter for her latest articles on how to address burnout and support your physical and mental health. Watch her TEDx talk “Sleep Love Poop” and learn how eating with purpose can help you build stress resilience. Contact her at cristina@thrivenutritionpractice.com.
